Originally published Friday, February 8, 2019 at 08:10p.m.

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how›s everybody?    

L.A. Rams Coach Sean McVay was praised for admitting to reporters he got out-coached in the Super Bowl. There are worse predicaments than explaining how you lost a football game. It’s not like you’re having to answer whether you’re the one in blackface or the one in the Ku Klux Klan robe.

President Trump announced he’ll hold talks with Kim Jung Un in Vietnam this month. It will be a nice escape from CNN, the Russia probe and Late Night host badgering. I don’t want to say the script has flipped during my lifetime, but Trump is going to Vietnam to avoid combat duty in America.

The Denver Post reported that Colorado drug advocates have succeeded in getting a measure on Denver’s municipal ballot that would decriminalize magic mushrooms. In Denver this past Sunday, the cannabis community sponsored a march for legalized mushrooms. The turnout was high.

Apple started offered iPhone owners four hundred dollar trade-ins for a new iPhone XS. The transitory world of high-tech companies keeps many investors in commodities stocks. You’ll know Apple’s REALLY more valuable than Exxon when we start invading countries for their Internet cafes.

A Petco poll said sixty percent of Americans prefer dogs as their pets. Last week I went to the store while sitting my neighbor’s dog Barney, and I left the cable TV news on to keep him company. When I got back Barney met me at the front door and told me the Russians had pooped in the kitchen.

Senator Elizabeth Warren was contrite Wednesday after she was caught on her old Texas Bar application asserting she’s an American Indian. The senator spent all day apologizing and admitting she belonged to no tribe. Warren was really red-faced about it so she’ll never be governor of Virginia.

Virginia’s governor Ralph Northam refused to resign after his college blackface picture came to light. CNN pundits said Sunday no politician could have horrified fellow Democrats more than Virginia’s Governor has. That prompted a command by Virginia’s Attorney General to hold my beer.

Virginia’s Attorney General admitted he wore blackface to look like a rapper at a college party back in 1980. It’s starting to looks like the state’s rite of passage. At Old Dominion’s College student union canteen, they’re advertising Kiwi black shoe polish as the Virginia Democratic Party starter kit.

The Wall Street Journal gave President Trump a rave review for his State of the Union speech Tuesday, calling it a masterpiece. It also said after two years, Trump appeared presidential for the first time. He’s safe until Democrats can figure out who he’s offending by appearing in Orange Face.

President Trump scored a seventy-six percent approval rating from CBS and CNN polls in his State of the Union speech. His big moment came when he declared that Americans are a free people and we’ll never be a socialist nation. The crowd’s reaction was evenly divided, which ruined his point.

President Trump stood at the podium Tuesday facing all the Democratic Congresswomen who sat together in white uniforms looking like a choir of angels. It provided us a historic moment. It is the first time Democrats gathered in one place dressed in white that didn’t involve burning a cross.

President Trump’s State of the Union performance was ripped by CNN despite 76 percent of Americans liking it. At the National Zoo last week, Trump rescued a child who’d fallen into the lion’s habitat, where Trump leaped into the habitat, punched the lion in the face, snatched the child and escaped to the cheers of the crowd. That night CNN reported that Trump attacked an African immigrant and stole his lunch.